I don't often use this blog as an opportunity to brag on my husband, though he gives me ample reason to, but since this is both husband and doll related I feel that it's appropriate.
A couple of weeks back I was having a heck of a day with my anxiety. It was through the roof, for no reason that I could figure out then or now, to the point where I was in tears. Mr. D was trying his best, but I was just a wreck that day. God love him, he drove me up to the American Girl doors and dropped me off, taking the children with him on some kind of Daddy Adventure, so that I could have some time to decompress in peace. (Some days this approach wouldn't work at all, as crowds can send me right into a full blown panic attack, but it was late enough in the evening that I was practically alone in the store.)
Anxiety makes exactly zero sense. If you've never experienced it, know that it is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. There are days that I legitimately can't leave my house, and there are days, like this one, where I really just need 15 minutes to myself doing something that I enjoy, something I can loose myself in, to help calm me enough to breath again. I have struggled with this as long as I can remember, and I am woefully clueless how to manage it most of the time, but my husband has been my partner in this journey for over 15 years. He has perfected being the rock I need in my worst moments. If you don't know this monster that is anxiety, you won't understand what an amazing thing it is that he can read a situation and know what might help even before I recognize that I'm in a downward spiral, nor can I articulate with simple words what it means to me that I have a partner in this who doesn't balk at an unseen illness. Make no mistake, the roll of a caretaker and support person is not an easy one, and I have an amazing one. Dropping me in front of that store seems like such a small thing, but it was about him reading me in that moment, and I love him so much for that.
Anyways, coming back to the AG store, I wandered around for awhile looking at the new spring releases, enjoying the almost silence of a nearly empty store, daydreaming about story lines for a couple of moddies that I'd like to make one day, making mental shopping lists for the Little Dahl's birthdays and Christmas...It was extremely relaxing. Mr. D and I had already discussed the fact that I wanted Kit's new play dress, so I picked out a perfect one, and I decided to pick up Melody's new mystery book while I was at it. (I'll be reviewing it soon.)
I was on my way to the cash registers, had almost made it out, when I saw her! The sweetest, most adorable mini Maryellen that you have ever seen! She spoke to me, and there was no way that I was leaving that store without her. I've wanted Maryellen for awhile now, as she reminds me of my most beloved grandmother in so many ways, but I don't have her yet. She's certainly on the list, but Mini Ellie is almost as good. Besides, did I mention how adorable she was?
On the way out to meet my family, feeling much better than I did on my way in, I decided to have some fun with Mr. D. Careful not to let him see my bag, I went right up to him and said:
"Don't be mad! I saw the most adorable Maryellen inside. Her face was so sweet, and I just had to have her!" That man, that wonderful man, didn't even blink. He just smiled back at me and said:
"I'm glad! I can't wait to see her." Not the funny reaction I was expecting, but I think he just might be a keeper. (He's also been hinting that I will be getting a "full grown" Maryellen at some point so should really pick out some of her outfits while they are BOGO 50% off, but I have such a hard time shopping for girls I don't have yet. It makes much more sense to me to get Melody's things since I have her. Decisions, decisions.)